On a whim, I asked TiVo for a list of Children’s shows with sub-category “Holiday.” The results were… interesting…

10. Iron Chef: Holiday Strawberry Battle

9. Harambee! (According to the description: ‘A stray bullet interrupts the Barnes family’s Christmas dinner and Kwanzaa observances.’ You can’t make this stuff up.)

8. Davey and Goliath’s Snowboard Christmas (what’s amazing about this is that it is listed as being from 2004…)

7. Crippled Lamb (‘Joshua cannot play with the other lambs because he has a crippled leg.’ There are no words. They should have sent a poet.)

6. 12 Days of Cookies (Probably followed by the 12 Days of Jenny Craig)

5. Very Ermey Christmas (I have no idea who or what an Ermey is. It just sounds unsavory.)

4. ‘Tis the Season to be Smurfy

3. Spunky’s First Christmas (Speaking on unsavory…)

2. Powerpuff Girls: ‘Twas the Fight Before Christmas

1. The Osbourne Family Christmas (I shit you not, this was listed under Children’s Holiday shows on my TiVo)