I just finished with my every-other-year tradition of watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics while heckling with friends online in a chat room. This basically involves my repeating over and over “I hate Bob Costas” for his inane prattle and commenting on the cool hats everyone seems to have every year (me: The USA team is wearing french berets? I thought we still hated the French? Friend: Duh! They’re FREEDOM hats!)

But the best part was the very end. The torch is run up the stairs to what can only be described as a giant phallus which is pointing down. The guy with the torch lights it and the whole thing arcs upward like a giant erection. It was, I commented, the world’s largest money shot.